


Featherweights Can't Box

by AnonEhouse



Series: Tiny Tony 'verse [2]
Category: Iron Man (Comic), Iron Man (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Daddy Issues, Gen, Humor, Kid Fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-03-14
Updated: 2012-03-14
Packaged: 2017-11-01 22:29:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,598
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/361983
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnonEhouse/pseuds/AnonEhouse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony is five. Tony is bored. Tony likes girls better than fighting.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Featherweights Can't Box

**Author's Note:**

> Have you noticed how frequently Iron Man lands with one knee down, posing cutely, and how graceful he is for a guy wrapped in metal? Tony didn't learn that overnight. Obviously he had some physical training long before putting on the suit.
> 
> This story is arguably in the same 'verse as [ Pandora's Peeve](http://archiveofourown.org/works/360754) Liberties have been taken with character ages.

(If you are reading this on any PAY site this is a STOLEN WORK, the author has NOT Given Permission for it to be here. If you're paying to read it, you're being cheated too because you can read it on Archiveofourown for FREE.)

Tony is bored but trying to be good, because it is his fault this time. Sort of. He didn't mean to break the pretty China vase with the goldfish painted on it and he wouldn't have if the golf ball hadn't been bad. He just wanted to show Dad he could play, too, so they could go play together. But the stupid golf ball's dimples weren't aerodynamically stable. If _he_ had made the golf ball it would have gone right into the umbrella stand.

Tony squirms in the too hard, too tall, chair, kicks his feet and picks at the laces of his tennies, trying to get them back into loops again. Jarvis sighs and kneels to tie them again. "Remember, Master Tony, the rabbit goes around and around the hole, and then it goes in."

"Not a rabbit." Tony is bored and doesn't want to be here. "I want to go home. I'm bored." He kicks his feet again.

"So you have stated, Master Tony. Repeatedly." Jarvis stands up again. "But your father has decreed that you shall have an outlet for your excess energies that does not involve antique Ming vases."

"I could buy a new one! Rhodey says Woolworth has LOTS of China stuff!" Tony looks up at Jarvis, hopefully. "New things are better than old ones!" He can see that his proposal is not working, so he kicks more and watches his laces bounce.

"Perhaps you will enjoy learning to box."

Tony doesn't like the idea at all. Rhodey is nice, but his friends push Tony around when Rhodey's not looking. He doesn't tell on them. Tony's not a tattletale. But this is how he knows he doesn't like boxing, it's being pushed around and getting his clothes dirty and torn, and sometimes it hurts. Not that he cries. But he doesn't like it, and he doesn't see why he has to do it. And he's not any good at it. While he's thinking what he should be doing, they're already hitting. It's a waste of time. He doesn't like doing things he's not good at. And things that hurt. He just wants to have fun and make things.

Jarvis pats Tony's shoulder. "Your father... well, he thinks it would be good for you to have healthy exercise."

Dad thinks he's not good enough. Not strong enough. Not a big enough boy. Tony has heard Dad talking with Mom about him. Dad says he did things before Tony was born, and that's why Tony is the way he is and that's why there's only Tony. There's nothing wrong with Tony. He's fine. He's smart. He has teachers who come to the house so he doesn't have to go to school and be pushed around, and he doesn't see why he has to come to this stupid youth center and be pushed around.

"I have to return to the mansion to oversee the final arrangements for tonight's ball, but I'll return in two hours to get you. Promise to try your best? Brian will wait just outside the door."

Tony likes Jarvis. Jarvis will talk to him and never, ever get mad at him. Even when he breaks things. Tony nods. After all, he did break the vase. And if he tried to leave Brian the bodyguard would pick him up and bring him back. He hates that. Jarvis ruffles Tony's hair which Tony doesn't like except maybe he does, a little. Jarvis picks him up and carries him over to the other kids who are playing with badly designed blocks, and puzzles with big pieces and other really stupid and boring toys. There are boys at one side being noisy, and girls at the other side, being boring. He sets Tony down in the middle. "We can get burgers on the way home."

Tony grins and hugs Jarvis's legs a moment. "Cheeseburger?"

Jarvis smiles. "Yes. Be good, Tony." And then Jarvis leaves.

Well, a cheeseburger is good. And maybe there will be ice cream, too. Tony looks at his watch. It's a nice watch. It glows in the dark. Tony still can't figure out how to tell time because it's not numbers, numbers are easy, watches should have numbers, and he forgets which hand is which, and sometimes he just likes to watch them move and forgets he was going to see whether it was time for dinner yet. Anyway, Jarvis would tell him if it was time for dinner. But now he wants to know when it will be two hours from now and he can go home.

"What's that?" 

Tony looks up as a big boy comes over to him with a broken truck in one hand. "Nothing." Tony puts his hand over his watch.

"Let me see." 

"No. It's mine. You'll break it." Someone who can break a truck can break anything. There's a grown-up sitting at a desk across the room, but Tony already knows that grown-ups think boys should be rough, so he's not really surprised when the big boy pushes Tony, and he falls onto the padded floor, and the grown-up doesn't even look at them. "It's mine, and you can't look at it!" Tony crosses his arms to protect his watch and pulls his feet back, prepared to go down kicking.

And then someone in a red, fluffy dress punches the big boy in the nose, and he screams and makes a big fuss, and really, it's not all that much blood. Tony wouldn't be a crybaby about a bloody nose. This does bring the grown-up over to take the screamer out of the room for band-aids. Tony looks up at the girl in the red fluffy dress. She's grinning at him and licking a drop of blood off her hand, and she's really a bit scary even though she's Tony's size, but she's also very pretty. Her hair is shorter than Tony's, which he thinks looks better than the silly curls and braids and pigtails the other girls have. "I'm Tony," he says. "You're very pretty." Her smile turns into a frown. "You're very scary, too," he admits.

She grins brightly at him. "I'm Tasha." She grabs Tony's hand and pulls him up. "That was fun. I didn't think this would be fun. I have to take ballet." She scowls. "I wanted to take boxing, but they said ballet is for girls; girls don't box."

"That's stupid. You'd be a great boxer." Tony looks down at his tennies which are magically unlacing themselves again. "They're making me box, and I don't want to."

Tasha looks at Tony. He can see she's thinking. He is impressed with her. She can box and think and she's pretty even if she doesn't like him saying that. He can understand that. People call him cute and it makes him mad. Mostly. She asks, "Do you want to take ballet instead?"

Tony thinks about it. "Mom and Dad went to the ballet. Mom showed me pictures. You don't get hit in ballet, do you?"

Tasha shakes her head. "No. You run around and jump a lot. It's silly. And you have to wear silly things like this." Tasha points at her dress.

"It's pretty." Tony cautiously reaches out to touch it, hoping she won't hit him. The skirt is stiffer than he thought, and faintly scratchy. "I bet it looks very pretty when you jump."

Tasha sniffs. "Would you wear it?"

Tony grins. "Yes. I like red."

Tasha sits down on the floor and starts taking off her shoes, which are also red. "Change with me!"

Tony blinks, and then starts taking off his plain black t-shirt. He looks at the other kids. "Don't tell! It's a secret!"

The other kids think it's a great joke and giggle as Tasha helps Tony wriggle into her tutu. She ties up the slippers for him and even puts a red ribbon on a bobby pin in his hair.

The grown-up returns leading the sniveling truck-breaker by the hand and they get sorted out and go down a hallway into different rooms. Tony waves at Tasha, who is grinning and making scary faces at the truck-breaker as her group goes into a room full of thick mats. Then Tony discovers that the ballet room has mirrors all down one side and his red dress really is the prettiest of all of them and he's instantly in love with ballet. And jumping is like flying. It's wonderful and he's very very good. He listens to everything the teacher says and doesn't make any of the girls mad at him. And no one gets hit, not even accidentally. He doesn't even get bored and look at his watch _once._

"ANTHONY EDWARD STARK!"

Tony stops in mid-twirl and turns to see Jarvis. He giggles at the look on Jarvis's face. "I can dance!" He twirls again, giggling as his tutu swirls around him.

Jarvis sighs. The teacher smiles at Jarvis. "Tony shows an aptitude for ballet. There are never enough boys for the recitals."

Jarvis sighs again. "Master Howard would not approve."

Tony puts on his best sad face. "Please?" He holds up his hands. Jarvis picks him up. "I will see what I can do, Master Tony. But no more tutus." Tony kisses him on the cheek. "Home, Jarvis?"

"Home, Master Tony."

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Kick Back](https://archiveofourown.org/works/931800) by [AnonEhouse](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnonEhouse/pseuds/AnonEhouse)




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